It's funny how many of us think that our bosses are
 
naive. We make up excuses, exaggerate stories, and even
 
lie to make us look better in front of our bosses. The
 
fact is that most bosses are like human lie detectors,
 
quickly determining when you are less-than-truthful.
 
Blame Technology for Failing to Meet Requirements.
 
Invariably, employees will blame their computer for not
 
submitting project work on time. We've all heard the
 
“hard drive crash” story, especially the one that
 
happens the night before the project is due. Since the
 
assignment has been sitting on your desk for months,
 
that excuse lacks merit.
 
Blame a Team Member for Your Incompetence. “Bob, I
 
have all my work ready, but Julie didn't send me her
 
part of the report, and that held everything up! I'm
 
pissed!” Not good enough! Your boss could care less
 
about Julie's part of the work. It is your
 
responsibility to get the information needed to complete
 
the work. Blaming team members fails to make you
 
accountable or accepting ownership for the work. If you
 
want to be mediocre, keep using this one.
 
Show up Late or Miss an Important Meeting. Your boss
 
probably does not care if you arrive late to work from
 
time to time. However, you likely have at least one or
 
two meetings per month where your presence is required.
 
You might be giving a presentation to top management, or
 
perhaps you are the SME who needs to field tough
 
questions. You might have good excuses, including the
 
common cold or a family event. Here's my advice: find a
 
way to re-organize your schedule. The work meeting
 
should last no more than an hour or two. Once the
 
meeting is over, you can leave and take care of the
 
personal matters. Your boss will respect that you
 
delivered on the job requirements despite the personal
 
issues. That makes you different. It makes you a
 
professional.
 
Instead of making excuses about poor performance, find a
 
way to impress your boss. Remember that you are not an
 
astronaut navigating a spaceship into outer space, or a
 
neurosurgeon performing a delicate operation. You have
 
wiggle room to make mistakes, but not excuses.